It's mid-April already, a time where a year-opening theme doesn't seem like a relevant topic anymore. But this is (indeed) my first post in this year, and it's nothing like I've prepared in my mind before. I was in perfect sync with all aspects of my life by the end of last year: career, passion, domestic affairs. The span of upcoming months was so bright, so promising. Then comes the pandemic, which isn't such news anymore for us (I even have grown quite tired of it, actually), and here we are all: suddenly switching our gear from alert to survival. And I hope not to complain about it. I am almost entirely privileged, if not considering my status as a woman in the more-general, marginalized part of society. First of all, I have a job, and then I have a house and a family. People are dying and losing their job, so it's considerably lucky that all I need to do is to stay at home. Donate to the right foundations, support the good movements. I can always try to cook more, exercise more, craft more.

But since the beginning of the home quarantine session, I had to close down our entire FnB businesses while making sure that we can adequately provide everyone their paid-leave checks. There's still anxiety... and as much as I've tried to ignore it, it is real, and it's necessary for us to address that together.

We are now entering an uncertain phase, and we're all anxious in so many different ways.

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